Volume 39 Number 6 | December 2025
Summary
This article explores the difference between fitting in and true belonging, emphasizing that belonging begins with honoring one’s authentic self. Using neuroscience and practical strategies—pausing, regulating with support, and seeking genuine connection—it encourages medical laboratory professionals to build psychological safety, reduce division, and strengthen teamwork by showing up with courage, curiosity, and self-compassion.
Julie Freidhoff, MS, MLS(ASCP), ASCLS Today Volunteer Contributor
Belonging is one of the most fundamental human needs. In neuroscience, we understand it as a core driver of safety in the brain and nervous system. When we feel that we are accepted, valued, and connected, our bodies literally shift out of a protective state and into one of openness and growth. Belonging supports our well-being, our capacity to think clearly, and even our ability to connect compassionately with patients and colleagues.
Yet, many of us confuse belonging with fitting in. Fitting in requires that we change ourselves, hide parts of who we are, and mold our values to match the group around us. Belonging, in contrast, requires us to stand firmly in our authentic identity. It is the courage to show up, imperfect and honest, as ourselves.
Brené Brown says it beautifully: “True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are. But it’s also the courage to stand alone, and to belong to yourself above all else.”
In a laboratory or healthcare workplace, this distinction is vital. We spend long hours in high-pressure environments where our ability to work together can literally affect patient outcomes. But our modern culture—fueled by social media algorithms and polarization—often pushes us into “us versus them” factions. In the lab, this can look like management versus specialists, technologists versus technicians, or one shift against another. This false version of team spirit—bonding through shared dislike of “the other”—creates toxic divides. Our nervous systems pick up on the threat, and before long, protective behaviors like aggression, withdrawal, or passive resistance take hold.
So, the question is: how do we build community and foster belonging when everything around us seems to be fragmenting?
As a coach and mentor, I encourage you to begin with yourself. Belonging starts inside us, with the choice to honor our values and stay grounded in who we are. From there, we can extend connections outward in ways that build psychological safety in our teams. Here are three neuroscience-informed practices to help you begin:
1. Practice the Pause
When your nervous system is activated—your heart races, your face heats up, or your thoughts spiral into frustration—pause. This is not weakness; it is wisdom. A pause is the gift of time for your nervous system to settle.
Find a safe way to release the energy. Journal. Doodle. Take a short walk. Get those looping thoughts out of your head and onto paper. Then look at what you’ve written: do you see themes? Strong emotions? That’s your nervous system’s alarm, alerting you that a boundary has been crossed or that something deeply matters to you.
Name it to tame it. Neuroscience shows that labeling our emotions calms the amygdala and allows the prefrontal cortex—our “thinking brain”—to come back online. Once you’ve named what’s happening, offer yourself compassion. Remind yourself: My experience matters. My emotions are signals, not problems.
2. Seek Regulation or Co-Regulation
When our nervous systems are overwhelmed, regulation is essential. Sometimes this looks like self-regulation—deep breathing, grounding exercises, or a moment of quiet. Other times, we need co-regulation: the calm presence of another person who helps us feel safe.
This is where mentorship can be powerful. Seek someone outside of your immediate work unit—a trusted colleague, a mentor in your professional society, or even a friend who listens without judgment. Sharing your experience with someone outside the immediate workplace helps you gain perspective and allows your nervous system to settle in a neutral, supportive space.
Professional organizations like ASCLS are rich with opportunities for mentorship and connection. These relationships expand your lens, offering both wisdom and emotional steadiness when workplace dynamics feel destabilizing.
3. Seek Connection
Once you’ve grounded yourself, courageously step toward connection. Offer choices in your interactions. Approach a colleague with curiosity, not for the sake of debate or rebuttal, but for genuine understanding. Neuroscience shows that when we listen deeply, without judgment, we create safety cues that invite others out of defensiveness and into authentic dialogue.
Ask open-ended questions. Listen not just to words, but to tone, body language, and what’s underneath. Your goal is not to win an argument but to build a bridge of understanding. This doesn’t mean abandoning your values. It means leading with relational safety.
In these moments, your prefrontal cortex—the seat of empathy, reasoning, and problem-solving—becomes fully engaged. And when your colleagues experience being seen and heard by you, even across differences, it can shift the energy of the entire team.
Standing in True Belonging
True belonging requires courage. It asks you to show up as your authentic self—even when it would be easier to hide behind conformity or align with the loudest faction. It asks you to stand alone, if necessary, rooted in your own values. But paradoxically, when you do this, you often discover that others were waiting for someone to model authenticity first.
As laboratory medicine professionals, we know that every test we perform and every interaction we have contributes to patient safety and care. But just as importantly, the way we show up for one another matters. When we cultivate belonging—not fitting in—we create workplaces where people feel safe to think, question, and contribute their best.
So, I encourage you:
- Pause when your nervous system is triggered.
- Seek regulation and support.
- Then step toward connection with courage and curiosity.
- And above all, belong to yourself first.
May you be brave enough to share your authentic, imperfect self. In doing so, you will not only honor your own values but also light the way for others—igniting a culture of true belonging in laboratory medicine and beyond.
Julie Freidhoff is a Coach and Consultant at SafeSpace Coaching and Consulting in Rochester, Minnesota.